Your mother is always with you...

She's the whisper of the leaves
as you walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach in
your freshly laundered socks.

She's the cool hand on your
brow when you're not well.

Your mother lives inside
your laughter. She's crystallized
in every tear drop...

She's the place you came from,
your first home.. She's the map you
follow with every step that you take.

She's your first love and your first heart
break....and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, Not space...
Not even death....
will ever separate you
from your mother....

You carry her inside of you....
_________________
Chris Olivier - South Africa

I remember the holidays and the fun things we always did. Its been a year mom. Its still really hard but we are getting through. We really miss you all the time.

Today I thought so much about the way you smiled, your laughter, the way you told stories...using your hands all the time. You gave me music, literature, art, common sense, love, kindness, silliness, so  much of me, I thank you for creating. I will give Olivia the good memories I have, share our silly stories, and remind her that you will always be with us, no matter what the circumstance!!

Mom, it's been a complete year since we last spoke, I have been thinking about you every day, worried how I would face this moment. Tonight I was thinking about God, and what he would say to me...I found some comfort somehow, I think you were there, I prayed for a while and I know you know how much we miss you. I love you always and forever, and ever and ever!!

Never Alone by Rodney Belcher I feel you in the morning When at first I awake Your thought is with me With each decision I make You'd been around forever Since the first breath I took Now I have to go on alone But for love, I need not look Cause by what you bestowed In our short time together Will last in my heart Forever and ever Although you've left And now walk above I'm never alone I'm wrapped in your love Enjoy now your long waited reward Feel peace that your love continues on What was taught to me, will be taught to mine Cause you live on in me even after you've gone

It's been just over five months now, and I still miss Mom everyday. Olivia was pretty quiet about her feelings for the longest time, but during December, she finally broke down and cried and told me she misses her Grama so much! She told me that all the Holidays are changed forever and she thinks about what her Grama would do or say or where she'd like to have coffee! I had time to reflect on Christmas Eve, and I had this incredible sense of something filling up my soul, so much that I felt solid. I beleive it was Mom letting me know that she is a huge part of me and we are never really seperated. Before that day, I had crying jags, I felt empty and sad and upset at everyone running around proclaiming how "wonderful " the holidays were! But since that day, and my true understanding of what her message was, I feel like I'm carrying a part of Mom with me, where ever I go. It feels comforting, I do mourn the idea of not having new experiences to share with her, and all the funny conversations we would have, but I know she knows I would love to still do that with her.

I remember, going to WA for a visit with my Mom Theresa and we went to the Island to visit Viki and the Kids @ the Hot Dog stand.  I ws so terrified of bees and this place was swarming with them.  I was happy to see them, but wanted to leave so bad.  But it was fun walking around the small town there.  I also remember Viki taking us to Deception Pass, it was beautiful and we played in the woods there.  I always had fun with her and love to go for rides in her Green Rabbit!

This is not a memory, but a dream I had early this morning- We were all out at Deception Pass, with Mom's ashes in the seashell, and we were about to place the shell in the water, we were all gathered around the shell, and it kept changing colors and sizes and I was getting confused, then Tom finally put the shell into the water, and it floated out of sight, we were all running around looking for the shell, then we heard off in the distance, a motor boat, and the sound was coming up fast, so we looked towards the sound and there was Mom piloting this speed boat, and her hair was blowing around all crazy and she had this huge smile on her face, it reminded me of the opening of Miami Vice, when the two guys are standing on a speed boat, racing across the water! Anyhow, she was racing in this boat towards us, then she passed us and waved as she kept going.

When I was in 7^th grade, my history teacher said he would give anyone an A if they gave a speech on any historic subject.  Viki used to read a lot of romance novels from the 16^th centuries and she would share them with me. There was one called Desiree, which I read over and over. So I decided to do my speech on the kings and queens of the 16^th century.  When I got home, I told Viki and she helped me.  We wrote up some notes and I practiced my speech in front of her. Then I actually got in front of the class and gave my speech.  True to his word, my teacher gave me an A.  It became kind of a special code with Viki and me.  We would write to each other in the fancy language of the 16^th century, complete with phrases like ‘your most loyal and humble servant’.  She would sign her letters Queen Victoria.  Every time I visited Viki as an adult, there would always come a time when we would settle down with our coffee and cigarettes and she would look at me and giggle, ‘remember when we used to write to each other, pretending we were Queens?’  My sister loved to play pretend. 

One of Mom's favorite actors was Russell Crowe; she would say she was "having a date with Russell", and that meant watching his movies at home on her DVD player!! I told her that if Russell Crowe ever came anywhere near Seattle, I would make sure she got an autograph or photo with him, she giggled like a little girl when I told her that!!

Missy, Tom, and Amber:

The impression some people leave are like footprints in the sand, after awhile they fade away. But your mother was so much more than that! The impression she left is something that will never fade away. Its true that over time we move on in life, take care of our families and such. But what would some of us be without her influence on our lives. And you can attest to this much more than me. But from my perspective, I would never have made it to Washington, never met my wife, never have had the life I lead without her! 

 

Thank you for sharing her with me,

 

Ira

You silly girl Kimmy. I remember that way more than is healthy!! We thought is was going to be just a juant, and my Mom said, "Yeah right" but we made our way up there, and we were so proud of ourselves.....how funny we were!!! My Mom was always our cheerleader....................she was our childhood, silly girl!!

I remember when Aunt Vicky and the kids were living in Mentone and I went to visit one weekend.  Missy and I were always taking adventures and this particular time we decided to climb the mountain ( small hill across the street!!)  We climbed and climbed this "mountain" which prob was 15 min max, we tied our socks to a pole and climbed back down, when we came back home aunt vicky was waiting for us with a warm meal, cold glass of juice  and said we were her neil armstrongs being the 1st to climb that mountain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was times like that how she always encouraged us!!!!!!!!!

I have a funny memory of when Mom had taken my best friend and me to Hollywood for the first time. We had taken the train into Los Angeles cause Mom thought it would be such a cool adventure, when we got into Los Angeles, we got onto a bus and it was loaded with all kinds of people, including street people. Mom had her eyes all wide and anxious, trying to keep an eye on us! When we got to Melrose Avenue, we got off the bus and went into a sandwich shop. I stood in line while Mom went to wash her hands, when she came back to the line, some guy yelled to her, "Hey, what do you think I am, chopped liver!?" He thought she had just cut in the line or something, but I got really mad, how dare someone yell at my Mom! So I yelled, "Hey..that's my Mother your'e talking to, dont ever talk to her like that!" He never said another word, and Mom had this huge grin on her face, she was so proud, she always retold that story.

I remember when we were little and she had the cockatail that would say "purdy Viki" over and over again. That was pretty cool.

Victoria would always try to make me something to eat whenever I would come by to visit. "Tom don't you want a steak?", "No mom it's 10am.", "Okay, I can make you a pork chop or ham." It was a constant battle.

Most of all I remember her always trying to help anyone she could. That was such a big part of her. Always ready to help. She was the greatest mom ever and will be greatly missed.

Aunt Vicky was to me a DIVA before anyone knew what one was!!  She stood out not only by her infectious laugh, her own taste of style ( I can still see her wearing a pair of those black baby doll shoes whether it was with a skirt or pair of jeans!!) She reflected confidence just by being her!! Even though time and many miles separated us I always have had a strong connection with My Aunt Vicky, reflecting upon my childhood bring back some fond ones of her.  I can still see her in her condo in Ontario making her famous spaghetti for me (this was almost a ritual because everytime I stayed there, she would make it for me) don't ask me what was in it or what was so special about it, I just know it was always delicious but even so I can still see her making it in her kitchen...... I also remember when she lived in Mentone for awhile and I'd come to play with Missy and she always let us play whether it be playing dress up, playing school, whatever it was she let us be kids...  For me, she always seemed to encourage me in whatever drama I had going on in my little girl life, she always made me believe if I wanted to do it, I could...  I will always love her for that..........